Now I wasn’t about to go crazy. She wasn’t kidnapped from her bed or anything.  So when in doubt the magical world of the digital era made it easy to just track her phone. This routine happened more times then not throughout the next few months. I very rarely saw her unless she was coming or going. I knew things were not getting better and we would have to start taking more drastic measures. Have you ever loved someone and watched them fall apart? Where nothing you did helped in any way? It is heartbreaking. My issues with my kid became all consuming. I went to work, came home, went to therapy and went to bed praying she’d be there when I woke up. It was a very isolating time. Except when I was at work. Work have me the stability I was yearning for. It was a place where I felt in control, smart, helpful and like what I did mattered. I didn’t feel any of that anywhere else in my life at that time. I was in a meeting in dreads office one day and at the end he asked me to stay back a second and close the door. So I did. I stood there for a minute as we discussed business when he got up from behind his desk, slowly, but with determination walked towards me, grabbed my face with both hands and planted one on me. I had no time to think, no time to back away and within seconds I was like puddy in his arms. What are we doing I thought?? I’m at work! Dreads was intense, that kiss was intense, my entire life was getting way too intense for even me to comprehend. Dreads didn’t say anything after he kissed me. He stepped back one step from me, smiled this coy little smile and sat back down at his desk and went back to work. I just stood there like an idiot, unable to get my barrings as if he threw love potion number 9 on me. I went back to my desk and sat there in awe of myself, in awe of him. I felt alive. I felt powerful. I felt beautiful. I felt completely out of my element. This. This was exactly what I needed right now. Or so I thought.