Partners In Crime

It was time to stop seeking out a man and to focus. Focus on myself, on my kids, on my job just on anything that does not involve a man….One night I ran into an old high school acquaintance at a local town bar and we exchanged numbers. She and I were never really friends in High School, but she was always lovely and said hello and when she said to hit her up if I ever wanted to go out, I thought…uh yea! So one night I was driving around and thought: Now’s a good a time as any! So I went to a pay phone and put in my coins and dialed her number. I’m not sure why, but my heart began to race as if I was calling to ask her out on a date. She answered the phone and in a rushed voice said she’d love to go out, but it was the Season Premiere of Survivor and could I call her back in a few minutes. Um…sure. So I went back to my car and waited. And waited. And finally I called back and we decided to meet for a drink. After that we went out almost every Friday night for the next year or so. We went to our local jaunt and danced to live music and bands and the DJ and danced with guys who were always in love with our hips. I guess cause my hips don’t lie? I don’t know, but there was always an array of assorted men who would love to put their hands on our hips and dance close. We spent many a night enjoying life, living life, having fun, chatting about what to wear and where to go and what to drink. We went out late and came home late and that was my one night a week off from reality. It was fun. A Lot of fun! We would then recap the next day over who said what and when and if we got phone numbers or gave away ours. It all seemed very innocent and I began to truly love this girl as my friend. We would get together for dinner and drinks and at the pool and on Sundays and all sorts of fun stuff. We would have long talks and deep thoughts and I admired her. She was blunt, but not cruel and assertive, but not aggressive. She had a career and was determined and passionate about it and was a lot of things I wished I was. She pulled no punches about most things and I can remember the first time she moved out on her own and had a housewarming party. I was so proud of her. Or friendship was n without ups and downs and what I learned as the single biggest reason people lose touch or stop being friends is miscommunication. Over the years we lost touch and I think it was a myriad of reasons, but mostly cause life got busy and we made choices and we hurt each other’s feelings. Funny how someone so close to you can end up not really being a part of your life. I see her occasionally now and I miss those days of silliness and frivolousness and utter carefree fun. She knew me. She knew me well. She knew me at a time that most people didn’t want anything to do with me and for that I appreciate her more than she will ever know. I miss her. We are by no means enemies and didn’t have a falling out, but we are l not really a part of each other’s lives and for that I have regret. How is it some relationships can last a lifetime and some are fleeting? Glimmers, glimpses of lives crossing your path. They say every person that comes into your life brings some meaning to it, whether it’s to teach you something or help you figure so out on your own. I think back on this friendship and I know that it served a distinct purpose in my life. Our paths were meant to cross. It was not some chaotic tapestry of coincidental events lead us to each other, but rather a plan of which I cannot explain. We often ask what the purpose is for someone to come into our lives, but what if we started asking….what is the purpose we came into their lives? Would we be better at being ourselves, truer to what we believe if we looked at it as us carrying the reason instead of the other way around? Think about your past relationships, think about one that just began………can you identify the reason they came into your life? More importantly….can you identify why you came into theirs?

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