Don’t you ever find it interesting what can make you smile?  Even in your darkest hour.  There is nothing like having someone or something just make you smile, especially when you A) don’t want to and 2) when you don’t think you can.  It’s the little things in life that just seem to help us get through the tough times.  Not the big grand gestures although those are swell, it’s the tiny things that all add up to mean something so much greater.  That one text, that one line, two small words, put together helped me feel better that night.  It helped me refocus my pain and misery into something fun.  And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?  Fining something in your every day hum drum to make you smile?  God, jolly guy was what this downtrodden girl needed.  Just knowing someone was out there.  I knew my friends were there, I knew my family was there, but this was different.  This was just the chance to have fun.  For joy.  For something other than heartache.  He too had gone to a wedding the same night I went to the wedding with dreads.  We seemed to have a lot in common.  We loved to have fun.  We were both the center of attention.  We both loved to entertain.  As the texts went on it felt easy and light.  A few days later I asked jolly guy if he wanted to meet up for a drink. Yea, that’s right, I asked him out.  His response “no” WHAT?!  No?  You are kidding me right?  You have been pursuing me for months and I finally fold and your answer is no?  He explains his kid schedule and how that night didn’t fit in.  Fine.  I understand that.  So the next week went by and I asked again….”I’m meeting some friends, want to meet up after?”  This is attempt number two.  The answer “no”  Honestly, my ego was frail to begin with.  Was he playing hard to get or was he just playing me?  “No?” I asked.  This time he explained his work schedule and how that night wouldn’t fit either.  Ok, I will work with that too.  One more week past.  It was now the first week of November.  This time the approach was a bit more harsh “I am not this girl, I do not chase men, this will be the last time I ask and then there will be no more chances.  So if you re interested it’s now or never.”  The response was “Ok, I will make it work”  Phew.  Good God, if he had said no again I would have fallen off my chair had I been sitting down.  Really?  I had to ask you three times before you would agree?  All because I had to get my “shit” together?  Fine we were to meet up that Friday night.  We picked a place located between the two of us that I was familiar with and would not feel intimidated going to and we set a time.  I got home that night and received bad news from the place my daughter was staying at.  There was nothing I could do but the news rattled me.  I had a glass of wine and had not drank in over three months and being I had gotten bad news and I was nervous to meet up with Jolly guy I had that glass of wine to calm my nerves.  My girlfriend came over to get my head in the game and talk me off the ledge and prepare me for a nice evening.  There was nothing I could do about my daughter so I decided to focus on enjoying the night.  I got myself dolled up in a revealing yet casual outfit and put on my lip gloss and headed out the door.  As I closed the door behind me I received a message from dreads, “I miss you”  My answer was as cold and heartless as he claimed me to be “I have a date, you had your chance”  And with that I got in my car, blasted the music and headed to meet jolly guy.  I got a text from jolly guy saying “On my way”  My stomach flipped at the sight of this message.  I was hoping it was butterflies and not the glass of wine I just had on an empty stomach.