Love

Seeing is Believing

The idea for Jolly guys Christmas gift came to me and instantly I was enthralled with myself.  How heartfelt, how kind, how generous and that was just about me!  I knew he would love it, or at least I hoped he did.  He was in love with boats.  One of our dates was to the boat show.  Wow those things are beautiful, but I’ve seen Cape Fear and Titanic and being on a boat in the middle of nowhere doesn’t sound fun to me.  However, knowing how much he coveted his boat I thought, why not get him a hand painted ornament with a picture of his boat on it.  I mean, I knew he was not a catholic, but his kids were and they celebrated Christmas, so he must have a tree right?  Of course he did.  So I went to my girlfriend the artist and gave her a photo and she got to work.  I was super excited and thought it was considerate without being weird.  It was just the first week of December when it happened.  Love was in the air. The holidays bring out such a feeling of warmth and nostalgia. It was only right that we expressed that towards one another. We were at his house, we were having dinner and drinks and staying in and lying on his bed as we did so many other times before when hair stroking and kissing began to lead down that road.  The road where soon our clothes were off and hands were here, there and everywhere.  We fumbled a bit and I could tell he was a bit nervous and I’m sure he could tell I was too.  The part I liked most about it, was he looked me dead in my eyes.  He didn’t shy away, he wasn’t embarrassed to see my face, look at me, kiss me.  He was right there with me in that moment and it was fabulous.  When all was said and done, there wasn’t any awkwardness, we laid there a while and joked and kissed and he asked me to stay.  Over?  You want me to stay over?  “Yea, why don’t you stay over?”  Well, it did so happen that my kids were not home so “Yea, ok”  He went outside to smoke a cigarette and when he came back in he was all smiles.  He was like a kid in a candy store.  He grabbed me and kissed me and hugged me and it felt really really nice.  Nice as in, not fake, not forced, not acted out.  Just sincerely nice.  I got into bed with him and we watched TV until I could hear the sound of his breathing begin to change.  I could tell he was falling asleep.  Dinner, drinks, sex and falling asleep with a beautiful woman in your arms.  Really….life was good at that moment.  Life was very good.  Around 6 am I got up, made coffee and got my stuff together.  I tried not to wake him as I gathered my things and got dressed. “Where are you going?” he asked in a groggy voice, eyes half-open.  “I gotta go.”  I said.  I smiled.  Walked up to the edge of the bed and he pulled me down and wrapped his arms around me.  “Don’t go” he said in a playful, childlike voice.  “I have to.  I will talk to you later.”  I kissed him and was on my way. I drove home that day and my eyes were bright, my spirits were high and so were my hopes.  I played out different scenarios in my head about what being with jolly guy long-term would be like.  Could we live together?  What about meeting each other’s kids?  Right now we were in the “honeymoon” phase.  It was just he and I.  He and I and most of his friends. I loved being around his friends, but I did notice there was less and less time that we spent alone, but since they were all so much fun and so nice I thought it was great that we could be a couple and be with them for this fun ride we were on.  Jolly guy was the kind of man who was what you see is what you got.  I saw a hard worker.  I saw someone who knew how to have fun.  I saw a loyal friend.  I saw silliness.  I saw happiness.  I saw financial security.  I saw hope.  I saw dreams.  I saw a future.  Don’t believe everything you see.  Cause as we all know……..looks can be deceiving.

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