Six weeks.  I was homeless, penniless and jobless for six weeks.  It was the longest most tumultuous time in my life thus far and being what I’ve already been through that is saying quite a bit.  I had lived more life in forty years than most people live in a life time.  I had seen heartbreak, loss, death, fear, lives shattered, homes ripped apart, medical issues with pain and suffering beyond my wildest dreams.  And here I was.  Forty years in and these six weeks had somehow defined my entire life.  They changed me as a human being.  They changed how I view the world.  They changed how I see my kids, my family, my friends.  They changed how I saw material objects.  They changed how I looked out my window every day at the unsuspecting things like the sun, the moon, the rain, the snow, the tall trees around me, the sounds of the birds, the sound of my own voice.  They changed every last ounce of everything that touched my life.  These six weeks changed my family, my parents, my sister, my nieces and brother-in-law, my cousins.  These six weeks changed my friends, my friendships, their kids, their friends.  These six weeks had a rippling effect on everything I touched and everything that touched me.

One life really does have the power to seep into everything that is around then.  I got a job, I got an apartment, I got all my animals back.  I got a clean bill of health.  You would think things were on the up swing and they were.  The death of who I was and the birth of who I was yet to become was underway, but it was not going to be easy.  It would be an uphill battle.  one that at this point I knew I could undertake.  How did I know?  Cause I was still standing.  I was still alive.  I still had so much to give, to see, to experience and I wasn’t going to let the sins of my past affect one more day of my future.  I was going to give it the old college try to make this the best life humanly possible.  Not just for me, but for my children who endured more than any child should have to go through.  For my family who had always been by my side no matter how little room there was next to me.  For my friends who had been my lifeline.  I sat against the empty wall of my new apartment the night we signed the lease with my best friend and we poured a glass of wine.  We mapped out where things would go and as we pretended to decorate I remembered….there was nothing to put in this apartment.

I then said “I’m not sure what to put in here?”  And she said “You will put whatever we have, you will put your touch on this house and make it a home.  You will fill it with love and laughter like you always do.  You will transform this empty apartment just like you have transformed yourself. We will figure it out” And with that we clinked our glasses and sipped our wine in silence.  She was right.  I didn’t need things, I would fill this house with love and laughter and I would make it a home.  Because after all…it was my new home.  I spent the next week; painting, shopping through friends garages and attics for furniture leftover from moves that was no longer being used.  I bought used furniture off Facebook pages and within a week…..we were in business. I can never repay my friends for the enormity of confidence they gave me during those six weeks.  All I can do is show them how their love and support has made a difference in my life.  Day after day I work on being better.  A better person, a better daughter, sister, mother and friend.  I work on being a better me.  Sounds easy, but before all this I thought I was pretty damn good.  I was elated to think of how much better I could actually become.  And that’s where the real journey began.