He asked me when would work for me and I thought the sooner the better so I suggested Saturday night, the one that was in four days. He then asked if he should pick me up or if we should meet there and I gave my standard answer: “I will meet you for fear you know my address and in a few days I wake up in the middle of the night and you are standing over me with a knife and wanting to either burn off my fingertips or dismember me and sell my body parts for money” I seem to lack the filter of not thinking everyone is a serial killer, but he responded in like with “There is no more money in body parts.” He had my attention. The fact he could roll with my ludicrous fear of first dates was impressive, but I would go into this with no expectations since that’s what always gets me in trouble.

A few days went by and I didn’t hear anything from him. My girlfriend and her friend that set us up, frick and frack text me a few times to remind me how nice he was and for me to be nice. What the hell was THAT supposed to mean? I was nice! “no, but he’s really a nice guy” Again, I didn’t know what that meant. And I was getting a bit insulted. I was told “Try not to be like you usually are.” WHAT? I’m a peach, what are you talking about? I would go, be charming, look sexy and be myself, that’s all I knew how to do. Be nice. God! I was nice! The day before the date I messaged him again asking if he had come up with anything. His response “A lot of property has been built up and it’s harder to find places to hide your body.” Ha!

We agreed to meet at a restaurant close to my house which was considerate of him and I got myself together. I wore a white tube top, to show off my tan and my shoulders, my great ass jeans and wedges. I fixed my hair, did my make up and was ready about 30 minutes early when I received a text from him; “I’m here, I know I’m early, no rush, I’ll be at the bar.” Hmm…prompt too? I liked it. I was ready so I headed down and as I was parking my car another text from Frick and Frack reminding me he’s SO nice, now behave. UGH! How nice is so nice? I was beginning to want to gag at the thought of him being some dork that always landed in the friend zone and wanted to do my laundry and such. Which at this point I may not mind. I could use a helping hand around the house. Who couldn’t.

I walked in and saw him sitting at the bar. I approached with vigor and said “If I hear one more time how nice you are I’m going to vomit.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat down and for a split second it seemed like he had a stutter. I think I either took him off guard or he was happy I looked like my Facebook picture. He smiled and all of a sudden I saw them…..the dimples. They appeared like tiny little cushions holding his face up. His eyes shined and his smile beamed and he merely said “Hello, you look beautiful.” We sat at the bar talking and within seconds I asked a few tough questions like “So how old are you?” He didn’t want to answer that being he had just turned 45 a few days earlier, but reluctantly told me. Thank God I thought in my head. I asked if he had kids, where her lived, if he rented or owned and he finally stopped me and asked if he was on an interview. In a way he was. I at least wanted to get some footing as to who he was and why he wanted to go out with me.

We laughed quite a bit and talked about Frick and Frack for a long time as they were our common ground. We finished our drinks and headed into the dining room to have dinner. It was going swimmingly. I hadn’t laughed so much and for so long with a man in forever and everything was light and airy and our banter was exceptional. It was like we played off of each other instantaneously without effort and I liked it. Then he got a phone call……and all I heard was “Yea I’ll be home by 12” Please god tell me that wasn’t his girlfriend or his wife!