Storage Unit

One night around 12:30 or so I was asleep in my bed when my phone rang.  I picked it up and it was one of my girlfriends.  She was out at a bar with her husband and had just spent the evening talking with this guy she thought would be perfect for me.  What exactly was perfect for me I thought, but she wanted to know if it was ok if she gave him my number.  Hmm…I asked a few intellectual questions, like the behavioral analysis unit at Quantico.  Was he a serial killer?  Answer:  I don’t think so.  Was he cute:  Answer: yes.  Was he employed?  Answer: yes.  Give him my number.  A few minutes later my phone rang again.  It was him.  We chatted and it was nice and I was half asleep and we agreed to talk the next day to set up a blind date.  Now I’ve gone on a lot of dates, but had never gone on a blind date before.  How bad could it be?  He was already pre-screened by my girlfriend and her husband so I was hoping for the best as always.  The next day I went to work and dreads was there and I told him about my blind date and he encouraged me to keep an open mind.  I thought, right, an open mind.  I could do this.  So when Blind date guy called again we chatted and everything felt fine until he said “Do you like to hike?”  oh….this wasn’t going to be good.  He was going to be some kind of outdoor enthusiast thinking that I’d want to bike and hike and fish and snowboard.  I would want to do nothing of the sort and instead of leading him on I explained that outdoors were really not my thing.  He then proceeded with “Well there’s a trail by my house and I thought we could get coffee and go for a walk?”  Now at first this sounds completely normal right?  Coffee, a stroll, nice conversation a good-looking guy.  But that’s not how it felt.  What it sounded like to me was more like; let’s get coffee, where I could slip something into your drink, we can walk for a bit on a secluded trail in the woods near my house close to dusk where no would will see me rape and pillage you and then I can dump the body and no one would know  A little paranoid?  Maybe, but I don’t think so.  As I’ve mentioned before I am an avid Criminal Minds watcher and I know what unsubs do….nothing good!  So I said that maybe that wasn’t a good idea for a first blind date and I’d feel more comfortable going somewhere public.  Like where you can’t burn off my fingerprints or hold my eye lids open with a vice.  So we agreed on the coffee shop at his complex.  Fine.  A few days later I got myself all dolled up and I got in my car and headed to the meet spot.  Something didn’t feel right about it and part of me wanted to turn around, but as I mentioned before, if they have the nerve to ask me out the least I could do was show up.  So there I was, arriving at the complex, people walking dogs and jogging and appearing very normal.  Then I began to think that what if it’s a crime in broad daylight?  Hidden where everyone could see?  My mind began to race and I texted my friends telling them of my location just in case.  You never know and it’s better to be safe than sorry…at least that’s what they say.  He appeared and walked up to me and when I saw him, I was in shock.  He was not anything like I had pictured him or even as he had explained himself to be.  He was a thin, slight built, balding mid-thirty year old and may have been wearing a Members Only jacket.  I just have to get through coffee is what I kept telling myself.  We grabbed our coffees and went outside to sit on a park bench and began the dance of getting to know one another when maybe the third sentence out of his mouth was this “Do you want to see the storage unit in the basement of my complex that I have?”  My head seemed to cock to one side and my mouth fell open and the hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention.  DO I WANT TO SEE THE STORAGE UNIT IN THE BASEMENT OF YOUR COMPLEX?  You mean where you keep the other body parts of the other women you’ve gone on first dates with???

4 thoughts on “Storage Unit

  1. Now that’s scary. When I was still going on blind dates I would always choose the mall as the meeting place. It wasn’t close to my house (harder to follow me) and I knew it like the back of my hand (if I needed to ditch someone I could get away fast and not be found.) Always trust your gut (or the hairs on the back of your neck!)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Intuition is a very powerful gift to have and a thank God you had yours intact that day! I can imagine your answer was hell to the no and then smoke would form as you ran for the hills to get to your car and get the hell out of there! I hope your friends owed you a very expensive dinner after that debacle. 😳

    Liked by 1 person

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