I have a pass code on my phone like most people, most parent do because A) It’s my phone and 2) cause it’s my phone.  There is nothing in my phone that is secret except the occasional naughty photo sent to jolly guy.  One day I walked into his bedroom looking for my phone and I couldn’t find it.  A few minutes later I found it laying on his bed unlocked and open.  Jolly guy walked into the bedroom and started screaming at me.  He was mad and I had no idea what he was talking about.  He was accusing me of cheating.  WHAT?  If anyone knows anything about me, they would know that cheating is not something I understand, it is not something I would ever do, it is what broke up my marriage to gingham and it destroyed my oldest daughter.  Cheating is NOT ok in my book.  It is one of the few things in my book that I would not be able to work through in terms of a relationship.  Jolly guy had hacked into my phone and gone through my messages.  He went on and on about a text session I had with Bouncer guy a few weeks prior.  Occasionally I would hear from my ex’s and to me I thought it was nice that I could keep in touch.  The texts read like this B: How’s it going?  Me: So good, I love my life right now. B: How’s the new man treating you?  Me: It’s going so well I can’t believe how great things are B: I’m really happy for you, I do think about you sometimes. Me: That’s sweet of you, but your chance has passed. B: I think about you in that skirt you wore in your big corner office leaning you over the desk.  Ne:  That’s totally inappropriate and I only do that for jolly guy now. sorry.  B: He’s a lucky guy, I wish you all the luck in the world. Me: Thank you.  Talk to you soon.  And that was it.  I never mentioned it to jolly guy cause I didn’t really think anything of it.  Yes other men found me attractive, yes I was sure other men thought about sleeping with me, but in my mind I thought what I wrote about jolly guy and how in love with him I was was more important than his comment about leaning me over a desk, albeit inappropriate.  Jolly guy was in a rage,  Screaming and yelling.  That night I had to drive half way to meet gingham because my younger daughter was going to see him for 4th of July.  I got to the meet spot two hours away and decided to go on jolly guy’s Facebook wall.  It was gone. Deleted.  Deactivated.  What?  I called jolly guy since I had a two-hour drive back and he refused to answer my calls.  He text me two words “we’re done” My head was spinning and I was instantly shocked and hurt.  What the hell was he talking about?  We were just in the middle of pretend marital bliss and we are done?  No conversation, no discussion, no nothing?  I called one of his friends and talked with her a long time. He wouldn’t answer her calls either and she couldn’t understand what he was doing, but he was definitely being a bit irrational.  First of all, why are you sneaking into my phone?!  I got to his place after the drive and he yelled at me some more and slammed out of the house.  I waited a long time that night for him to come home and around 3am went into the basement to find him passed out drunk on the couch.  I had called and text a number of his friends looking for him because he wasn’t answering me and I was getting worried.  I woke him up and asked him to come upstairs to bed and he flew into another rage.  This time, it was a drunken slur of words about how I was a cheater and selfish and a liar.  None of which I believed to be true about myself.  I grabbed his phone and asked him how he would feel if I went through his phone.  He rushed towards me with determination and grabbed my hand.  He said numerous times “Let go of my phone” We struggled a bit and then he peeled my thumb so far back to release my grip and we slammed our arms against the wall.  I thought he broke my thumb and I was now in a tizzy and screaming my lungs out.  I ran upstairs, grabbed the dogs and my stuff, got in my car and raced home.  The whole way there all I could think of was what was he hiding in his phone that would make him so upset if I saw? I would soon find out.