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T-Swizzle

My life had become a string of Taylor Swift Songs.  Starting with “Enchanted to meet you”, then moving on to “We are never getting back together” and ending with “Bad Blood”.  It’s like she has been following my life story and writing songs in accordance to my happenings.  Weird, but over the next few weeks she basically became a part of our lives.  Taylor’s words hit every chord of feelings my girls and I were going through.  She became our own mascot of sorts and we talked about her as if we knew her.  As if she was part of our lives.  She had an ability to strike when the iron was hot and hit the inner most thoughts of the three of us and she has never even met us.  Her songs have become our anthems and we now sing them with memories attached to each stretch our of lives that seemingly was not so great.  The only unfortunate part of her words are that they are all with feelings of things we’d like to forget, although they evoke a sort of bad ass ness to them that makes your blood pump with strength and empowerment.  They do not bring us down although the things of which she is singing about are not all that great, they have helped to build us up.  They have made our bond stronger and she has been with us through our toughest times.  Isn’t it strange that a few lines form a song, a good beat and some heartache of her own could really bring a family back together.  That is what she’s done for us.  Even down to the timing in which the radio has played her.  It’s like she is by our side even when we didn’t know we needed her.  The minute we get on the highway and pass by HIS house exit “Bad Blood” seems to hit the radio and all of a sudden we are fist pumping in the car and acting like she wrote it just for us.  In one song “Stay” there is a line that goes “Let me remind you THIS WAS WHAT YOU WANTED” I sang that line repeatedly at the top of my lungs because with the move in with HIM, I really feel like this was what he wanted.  What I did for the family, the sacrifice, the raising of the kids, the instilling of boundaries and responsibility for each kid.  Creating the sense of family that had been so terribly destroyed.  The song “I knew you were trouble” seriously everyone has to have someone who fits these lyrics.  The list goes on and on.  Taylor has become a part of the three of us.  She inadvertently has eased herself a spot at our table.  She has soothed us with her words, encouraged us when we were down, empowered us to keep going and she has no idea the impact she has had.  Funny how connected to someone or something or words that someone says you can get when they are sang, read, written at the right time.  Her words will forever be engraved in us.  Her words will forever mean something to us.  It will remind us of our darkest hours and will give us the freedom to let go.  Her words will forever tell us that we are not alone.  That’s pretty cool being we were in a state of constant flux during this time.  We were down but not out.  That’s the thing about music, it can bring you back to a time period you’d rather not remember, but also spring you forward and give you that extra little push you need to keep going…..and right now, there is no option but for the three of us to keep going.

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