Beginnings

Realization

Here’s what I realized at that very moment, obviously the universe needed to make a hard stand for me to pay attention. It tried with back issues maybe even with my daughters issues. I believe her accident was as much for me as it was for her. Then the being thrown out on the street, cast out like last weeks garbage and now this. Everything I had ever thought was important had been stripped away from me. All material things, all common household items almost my child and now maybe even me. 

I had been reduced to a few boxes, 3 beds, 2 children, 5 animals and me. That’s what I had. That’s all I had.  Then it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I had so much more then that. I had the most supportive family that loved me. I had the most amazing friends and friendships that never shyd away when my life got tough but rolled up their sleeves and got right into the down and dirty with me. I had my character which at this point in life felt like a whole hell of a lot. I was rich beyond my wildest dreams. And as I sat in that car, by myself staring my own mortality in the face I felt different. I felt a wave of strength come over me. This was not life getting back at me for something I did wrong in a past life. This was life showing me what I was made of. Showing me that I’m a survivor, showing me that the real things that matter are really all those quotes about family, friends and health. I didn’t have nothing….I had everything. This. This was the lesson the universe had been trying to teach me my whole life. 

This was the defining moment. I would no longer succumb to being an empty shell person. I would take my new found freedom from this tragedy called my life and I would start to live it. But not for anyone else this time. I would live it for me. In appreciation of what I had, with the grace of god that brought me to my very lowest. I. Would turn my perspective around and be a new and improved me. I would honor myself and my feelings, what I wanted in this life, what I needed. I was not going to be a victim of my circumstsnce one more second. This would be the rebuilding. Of a brand new life. I then called my therapist. There was work to be done. And it had to start immediately. 

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4 thoughts on “Realization

  1. I love it when people tell me they won’t be a victim. My sister constantly acts like a victim even though she was handed most things in her life. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. We are not victims, we are survivors. Victims never move on from that moment, survivors always do.

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