Today I had the pleasure of participating in #BeReal on HastyWords here is that piece

It has taken me the better part of forty two years to understand what it means to actually be real. It’s not about what you actually show on the outside. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a part of it. What you show to the world is what they will believe is your truth, so you better make it either the real deal or a fantastic version of the truth. What you are on the inside, how real are you willing to be with yourself is really what being real is all about.

I spent many years trying to be what the world wanted me to be. The understanding sister, the good daughter, the giving friend the ever loving wife, the selfless mother. I am all of these things, but I wasn’t these things the way in which the ones I loved saw me. Inside I was trying my best to be all these things, while I spent most days feeling less than or that I hadn’t measured up to what they wanted or needed from me. Then I began to realize that the only way to actually be all these things to all these people was to be the realest me there was. To be true to myself. To own my truth like I’ve never done before.

This doesn’t just happen one day. You don’t just wake up and say I am going to be real or be different. It takes some kind of come to Jesus moment or some tragedy or something that gives the epiphany that makes you decide to change. That makes you say to yourself I am enough. I am enough exactly the way I am and those that love me will love me even more once I am happy with myself.

I had that come to Jesus moment. I actually had, ten to twenty come to Jesus moments before I realized that not only were my friends and family trying to show me who I was, but the universe was in cahoots too. That it was guiding me and moving me in a certain direction my whole life and I never saw it. Until I sat quietly and understood myself and got to the heart of my own inner demons was able to relinquish who I was in order to be who I knew I could become. That person, the woman you see today; the mother, sister, daughter, friend, ex-wife, girlfriend, employee, business woman, writer, healer of my own sins that is the woman I am proud of. Why? Because like the saying goes; “I fought hard to be her”

Fight. Fight with all your might. Fight with everything you have, all you are and all you hope to be. Being you can only come from you. It’s not something you can be taught or told. It’s not something that a friend can suggest or a parent can implore. It is something that comes from deep inside you, the voice that says over and over, who I am and who I want to be, is the best version of me I can give this earth. So be you, be whoever it is the REAL you is. The world needs more of you. The world needs more of me. The realest thing I can do for anyone I love, anyone who loves me, anyone I encounter in my life is to be the most honest, truest version of me I know there is inside of me. That is what being real means to me. That’s why I’d encourage anyone to #BeReal. We need you to be.