We only stayed over the one night and at the end of a very relaxing day it was time to leave. We said our goodbyes and our thank you’s and into the car we went for our road trip home. On the way home we got to talking, which actually we did a whole hell of a lot of. We talked a lot about hypothetical situations. I explained to him that in my head I would one day be a writer. One that would no longer go to an office unless it was my editor’s or publisher’s, I would have a home office and I would write my heart out and spend my time on social media marketing myself. I would be doing in person presentations and book singings and that it was quite possible I would have to travel. In my so called “life plan” I was preparing him for seeing my face on a billboard or on Good Morning America talking about my book or the next book or my upcoming speaking engagement. I was telling him, how in my brain I saw myself traveling all over the country and could possibly be away for a week or two at a time.
He got very serious in this hypothetical conversation and began to look pensive. He got very quiet. Then I asked “what’s wrong?” he took a few minutes before answering and I was beginning to sweat. What could I have possibly said too upset him or get THAT look to appear on his face? He then said “Well, if you are going to be away that much, I’m not sure a long distance relationship will work for me. I miss you already.” I laughed, but he was dead serious. I explained to him that we were talking in “hypotheticals” and that I hadn’t even pitched the book yet, or even finished writing it for that matter. I was pretty sure we were YEARS away from having to worry about me being some kind of famous writer. Although I could see it in my head, that’s the only place it was. In my head. It wasn’t tangible, it wasn’t for real yet, it was just my dreams, my goals, my aspirations. I explained that if he really thought that he couldn’t handle my dreams coming true and that it would be a hardship on him or a struggle for us to be together then he was right and he SHOULD think about it.
Why? Because this was my time. This time I was not going to put my dreams on hold because someone else had an issue with it. I of course said it nicer than that and told him to relax. That when and if things started moving towards that we could have another discussion, but that for right now….I think we are good. He seemed to feel a bit better about that, but I could tell the rest of the way home, he was truly and honestly thinking about it. I HAVEN’T EVEN WRITTEN THE BOOK YET! Was what I was screaming in my head. I mean I wrote it but it wasn’t polished, it wasn’t ready for viewing or pitching to any editor or publishing house. It was still a work in progress and between him, my kids, my family & friends and my full time job, there was only so much time in a day to write. But it was my passion. It was my dream and I was going after it with everything I had. o would not be an option for me. Failure was only not trying to make this be my life’s work. I was going to do this. I was somehow going to be a writer, a public speaker, bringing my story to the masses and hopefully changing lives through a whole lot of humor. And I was hoping, secretly, he’d want to come with me.