Beginnings

Full Court Press

I am not sure if you have ever been pursued by a woman.  I mean, like prey; sought after, hunted, eventually she corners you and without warning sinks her teeth into you, leaving you powerless and paralyzed by her.  That is the way in which I went after gingham man.  I was relentless.  Tactful.  Flirtatious. Intriguing.  But relentless.  I knew it was a matter of time before I wore him down and made him mine.  We worked together for about four months or so, building a friendship, going out for drinks, talking and flirting here and there. I finally got the nerve to ask him to be my date at a sorority function in February and he agreed. Since we would be spending the weekend together I thought it best that we hang out alone together first, just to make sure things weren’t weird. I invited him up to my place for dinner. I cooked, got dressed up and then….I waited ….and waited and waited. That son of a bitch stood me up. On our first date! A) Who does that and 2) Why would I bother even finding out why?  Well my curiosity was killing me so the next morning I walked into the kitchen at work and went right up to him and said “Who the hell do you think you are?” He giggled and apologized and made a few guy like grunts.  You know the kind.  The bashful, embarrassed, not really saying anything and somehow we interpret that as an apology?  Yea.  Those grunts.  I thought he was being vulnerable and honest little did I know its what’s called foreshadowing.  We went on that weekend to the banquet and he spent most of the time avoiding me. Once we returned from that weekend I went into full court press mode.  It was like it was the last few seconds of the big game and I could not back down, could not let up the pressure.  I didn’t give him enough time to say no let alone think to say no. Everywhere he turned there I was, chest heaving, eyelashes batting, lips smacking ready and raring to go.  I’m not sure if he ended up falling for me at that point or was just too worn out by my advances, to fight back anymore, but I did it.  I accomplished the goal set forth and I was now, by April officially his girlfriend.   It was hot and heavy and exciting and we did everything together. Had fun, talked, went for walks, went out with friends we did it all and in a few short months, around June we decided to take another step. We decided to move in together.  You never really know someone until you live with them. You think you know someone and they can tell you all there idiosyncrasies, but it’s never really real until it’s starring you in the face. The snoring, the toothpaste in the sink, the way you chew your food or cook your eggs. I want to ensure that it is clearly stated how you don’t ever really know someone until you live with them.  This one very simple, yet a very important line will be a thread throughout much of my stories.  However it will never be as important a topic until later in my life.  But for now.  I believed that waking up next to this man was what I wanted what I needed, what he needed.  I could play house.  I could pretend to be a wife, taking care of him yet still young and flexible enough to rock his world.  Why is it that we are always looking for the next step?  Dating goes to exclusivity, then to engagement, then to marriage, moving in together, buying a house, having kids and inevitably, in my case to ending up being exactly where I started…..alone.  Or for me, not in that exact order.  Does planning for the future some how negate the present?  If we are not supposed to live in the past cause it can cripple us and we aren’t supposed to deal with the future cause we don’t know what it holds for us and we are supposed to live right here in this moment….why on earth are we always planning our next step, next move, reflecting on how we got where we are in the first place?  I plan.  I’m a planner.  It is my profession, it is inherently inside of me from budgets to holidays to what I’m going to make for dinner next week.  I plan.  I could always see the future in my head, the plan, how life would turn out for me.   Difference was then…I didn’t plan for the unexpected and now….I feel like I always need a plan B.

wolf

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