Two days after Christmas Serendipity left for fun in the sun. I was taking him to he airport and we stopped at a little place to grab a glass of wine and some yummy food. We did a lot of eating, but hey, I love food so why not? The food was actually delicious and the place looked like a whole in the wall, but it was scrupulous. As we sat at the table he asked me again if I wanted to go with him. Of course I wanted to go, but I couldn’t. Who wouldn’t want to spend a few days in the middle of the Northeast’s winter laying on the beach and relaxing with the person you are falling in love with? Unfortunately I couldn’t go and it was time to say goodbye.
While sitting at the little table enjoying way too much food for two people he said it. “I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I’m not seeing anyone else. I don’t want to see anyone else but you.” My heart skipped a beat as I had wanted to hear those words from the first night he kissed me in the parking lot. I was so excited I’m sure I giggled like a girl and maybe even twirled my hair nervously. I responded in like “I’m not seeing anyone else either and I only want to see you too” I must have had a stupid grin on my face from ear to ear because the rest of the meal I felt like I was floating.
As we walked to the car to get him to the airport, he stopped. Grabbed my hand and pulled me close. He smiled that sideways smile of his and looked me right in the eyes and said “Being with you makes me feel like I never have to want for anything else.” I stood almost frozen in my spot with my legs unable to continue to move forward. It was beautiful what he said. Someone actually thinking of me as enough? That they didn’t need to look or want for anything or anyone else? I almost began to cry, but held myself together and kissed him. I kissed him hard and long and passionately hoping he could hear my heart beat.
We arrived at the airport where I am sure they have seen more sincere goodbyes then anywhere else and he got out of the car. I felt my heart drop at the thought of not seeing him for two weeks. Is this even possible? I didn’t know this man six weeks ago and now the thought of not seeing him for a few days was making me anxious. He was definitely under my skin, in my bones and running through my veins. He had somewhat of an aloof attitude and I’m not sure if that was a defense mechanism or really pure laziness for the details, but it was also very refreshing. He didn’t really care about certain things and yet felt passionately about others.
He was walking away into the airport, getting on a plane and would be gone for two weeks. He would spend New Year’s Eve with his sister and mother in the warm southern air and I would be freezing my ass off here, alone. This was not sitting well with me and as I saw the final wave he gave as he walked inside, I drove away with one thought. I had to go there. I had to be with him. Not in a weird and creepy stalking way although “It’s not stalking if you love them” and I believe that is what I was feeling for Serendipity. Love. This damaged, broken, hot mess I will call me, was feeling a visceral reaction to this human being.
I would have to think about this one. What? I’m just going to show up? Surprise him? 1000 miles away? What about work? What about the kids? What about having zero dollars? But what about he and I? What about going to get your man? I could feel a crazy plan formulating in my head and I was nervous even having it run throw my head. This isn’t me. I don’t get on planes and run after men and I hate surprises!