The next few days were a frenzy of getting ready for the best holiday of the whole year. It was less than two weeks before Christmas and there were presents to wrap, cards to be mailed, tree’s to be trimmed and our annual family tradition of going to see Santa and the famous Christmas Tree. It felt like the days were flying by and although Dimples and I were in contact, it was strained at best. I wasn’t exactly sure why or how we had gotten here, but we were certainly somewhere and it didn’t feel great. Conversation had begun to drag, there was more one word answers than anyone would have liked to hear and there was a general disconnect between the two of us. Which totally sucked because I LOVE CHRISTMAS.

I love everything about it. I love the stress and family drama, I love the hustle and bustle of all that needs to get done, I love the traditions and festivities and clothing and smells and sounds of the whole season. But you know what I love most of all at that time of year? The nostalgia that’s felt for family and friends. It really is the most wonderful time of the year and it permeates through my whole body as I want noting more than those I love to share in my holiday spirit. Not everyone can appreciate that, I get it, but I was hoping that Dimples and I would rally and be able to enjoy our first Christmas together as a couple. Sharing stories and memories of holidays past. Combining our families and even just our time as we approached a time to look back and also look forward. It wasn’t exactly going as planned and if anyone knows me they know I love sticking to a plan.

That weekend I took my kids on our adventure. We start the day bright and early so we can get online to see Santa and not have to wait. We are there before 8am and I love it. Then we stroll the streets all decorated and shimmery and view the store windows and make our way up to the Tree. It’s just a great day. We always stop in the cathedral across the street and light a novena for my grandmother and then stop to get lunch and head home. It’s a long day, but totally worth it and the memories and pictures we have from it are priceless. I got home just in time to make it for my plans with Dimples, but I was already dragging and exhausted. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to head to the store with him, pick up groceries, come back to his place and cook dinner. But I figured we’d figure it out so no worries.

I was sitting in my car in the driveway about to pull out and make my way up to his house when I thought I’d check in and see if he was ready. He responded that someone had stopped in and he would need a few minutes and he would text me as soon as they were finished. So I got out of the car, went inside, dressed with my coat on and ready to go, I sat on the couch and waited. A few minutes right? No need to get all comfortable, I’d be leaving in a few. Then after fifteen minutes I started to get annoyed, but I was sure he’d be done any second. The half hour went by, then another fifteen minutes, then I must have fallen asleep cause it when I looked at my phone again it was just cresting past almost an hour and a half. I was livid and now way too tired to do much of anything. Why hadn’t he touched base with me? Why hadn’t he said something like “He’s still here, sorry, just a bit longer…” But nothing….Not. A. Word. No regard for my time, no regard for our plans together. Then I started to think God what if something happened? Then out of nowhere, no apology, no acknowledgement that I’d be waiting what felt like forever, I got a “hey” and that’s when I knew we weren’t in Kansas anymore. Something was definitely “off”