I often plague my brain with thoughts of what if. It’s a game I play to somehow make me feel that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be in life even if I don’t’ technically believe that. Now the game can be played in both the positive or the negative depending on your mindset at the time. In the positive it’s seeing the course of events that have happened that have led you to meet people you love, places you’ve seen and choices you’ve made. On the negative it makes your failure all that more apparent, pointing out and pin pointing all the times you made the wrong choice and your life was altered forever.
Positive What If’s:
- What if I had never taken this job? I wouldn’t be in the great financial position I am now.
- What if I never left him/her? I would have never met you.
- What if I never got that haircut? I would never feel as free as I do now.
Negative What If’s:
- What if I had just seen through him/her at the time? Then my family wouldn’t have had to go through this.
- What if I took the other job? I’d be making more money and in a better position.
- What if I decided to walk instead of drive? I could have avoided that whole accident.
Whichever way you play the game in your brain, remember, there is a plan. You may not know it, but in order to get through each day, you need to believe that where you are is exactly where you were meant to be. All of your choices, all of your decisions good or bad, has led you right to here. Where is here? Here is where you are. This is where shit’s about to get real. From here you can go anywhere. You can’t go back, but you can move forward. You have the power to change your life, not the past, but the future, even the present. Take your life in small doses, in tiny bites, not all at once. If you do, it can be overwhelming. I’m a firm believer in one day at a time, even though in my head I have my life planned out for the next 3 years. (Truth be told, maybe even longer)
That doesn’t mean that any of my plans will come to for wishing. What it does mean is that I have the power. It’s held in my hands every day. All of life is a choice, to turn left or right, to move forward or stand still. We all make choices. Sometimes ones that are damaging to ourselves and others, sometimes ones that change the course of our lives. Sometimes, ones that only move us one teeny tiny step towards our goals.
What if you weren’t scared of anything? What if you knew your place in life? What if you had the belief in yourself and others around you that would make all the difference in life correct? What if you trusted your instincts? What if you trusted the person you love? What if you believed in yourself so unconditionally that no choice would ever be the wrong one again?
Each choice made from this moment forward would bring you closer to who, where and what you were supposed to be; for yourself, for your family and for those you may not even know yet.
What if that huh?
2 thoughts on “What If?”
I’m learning that patience is a virtue VERY hard won, and I’m trying to practice ‘being in the moment’ and ‘appreciating the now’, without fretting about the if onlies and what ifs. But it’s a struggle.
I play this game! Find it easier to avoid the negative version since having kids though, as I of course would not undo the path that led to them, despite the failings and mistakes on it.